Several bees have placed themselves in my bonnet today, and this is a post to address one of them. I am posting this on my page so it can reach as many people as possible. A fellow Mom has made a choice (being purposefully vague as this is not a forum for debate about said choice, nor do I want any started here) posted a question regarding the choice and was promptly lambasted and flamed for it. She has been harassed and received hate email for it. She has also received support- not necessarily for her decision but support for her freedom to make the choice of what she feels is best for her child (thank you to everyone who has given her support!) I've been thinking on this a lot and I see so much division and infighting among mothers that it really makes me sick inside. So I've written this to hopefully show my support for mothers everywhere doing whatever they can to make all those difficult choices that motherhood brings and to raise the question of what we are really doing. In this day and age, we are able to connect with people a world away, and yet I think this pushes us farther apart than ever. So, without further ado...
Understanding. Respect. Compassion. These are not words that hide in the dusty dregs of a dictionary. I appreciate that the world is filled with many different types of people, and while their views may differ from mine, I accept that they have lived a different life than I have. As a Mom, I try to make the best decisions for my child that I can, based on what I learn, what I believe and what I feel. I know that while another mother might make some different decisions, she is also trying to give her child the best start to life that she can. My way is no better or worse than anyone else's, just different. If someone asks for my opinion, I will always share with them everything that I have learned/experienced and they are free to take it as they will. I do not take it as a personal insult if someone chooses differently than I do, nor do I feel that it makes them less of a mother. I believe that if anyone wants to sway someone to their way of thinking, that they should do so with poise, respect and compassion. I don't know where the idea came about that the best way to sway someone is by creating a lynch mob and bullying them into submission, but I hoped that we had risen above such behavior. Quite frankly, I am ashamed by the actions of my own sex. We need to stick together, not alienate and bully each other. You and I are Mothers. Mothers are powerful, amazing people and should never act or be treated like anything less. How are our children supposed to learn to nurture, love and respect others when we can't even do it among ourselves? Imagine what we could do if we stopped trying to compete with each other/tear each other down and instead lifted each other up. We do not live in a perfect world. No one is perfect. Let's accept that and instead try to be the best we can be. Motherhood is not a game of king of the mountain-let's take each other's hands and dance around it instead, celebrating the miracle of life and the wonderful blessing of being a woman and mother.
In closing, I would like to say "Let's. Just. Stop." Stop the competition, the damnation, the alienation, the bullying, the judging. When someone asks for an opinion or advice, let's stick to information instead of insults. Instead of letting our differences (of opinion and/or practice) tear us apart, allow the things we have in common to bring us together. Remember- "Mother" is another way of spelling "Love".
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